100 days standing and thoughts on Change so far
I am very lucky to be surrounded by people that inspire me and prompt me to better myself and seek awareness in everything I do.
Recently I have found myself experiencing a tremendous amount of change. Change for me has always been very difficult, I am a creature of habit, with a tendency to break down and not function if something has moved (a form of OCD). In short, change can have a severe effect on my life.
I have been using the same 50mm lens on my camera and have tried to make it work for everything I do. With a couple of projects in hand and a few artistic changes in the way I would like to portray my imagery, I am starting to adapt to the fact that I may need to change or add to my way of shooting. As crazy as this seems, the process of changing has been so mindfully painful that I have not moved forward in a positive way.
I am lucky to have a photography mentor Arteh, who he has planted insightful and inspirational thoughts into my head and is helping me push my projects forward and with this is the connection to standing, which is about seeking out tension and relaxing, allowing blockages to melt away, to feel what is preventing us from progressing, and allowing us to grow and adapt.
Sometimes I find myself getting stuck, I find myself so rooted I can not move forward. Rooting is fixing yourself to one point and taking on the force. It is like the roots of a tree going deep into the soil and securing the tree like an anchor. The deeper the roots, the stronger the tree, but however strong your roots are, eventually a stronger force will uproot you.
Change is being able to adapt to the force, to be rooted but at the same time not fixed to one point. The key is to change, adapt, react, grow, be rooted but also be unrooted at the same time and not limit yourself or your experience, to understand, to feel, to change with the change.
Only then do I feel able to be the most rooted and the most flexible. It is the ability to change which makes me feel strong. This month through standing, I have observed myself change with change and I have not felt the conflict that I would normally experience within me. I have not felt the fight, the resistance I put up which drains me. I am changing with change and it feels good. I’m in acceptance that change is a constant and I am free but still rooted.
I strive to try to learn about myself and become the creator of my destiny. I strive to live my life in no-one’s shadow including that of my mind, to be able to follow my own path, to be strong and good enough to one day give strength to others. I strive to be ruthless and selfless in my pursuit and to be guided by the greater good of everything I do.